hands down the scariest moment of my life...

Oh my word. Today has been one crazy, scary day! For starters, yesterday, we lost Jonathan's paci... I know I know, we should have given it up long ago, but he still gets it at night time. But I have been determined not to spend any more money on pacis, so when they are gone/broken/lost... we're done. So that was yesterday. He actually went to bed okay last night without too many tears. Good boy. He didn't sleep as well as usual, but all things considered, did okay. Then, at 4:30 he woke up and wanted milk, which is weird for him. I gave him some water and sent him back to bed only to be woken up at 5:25 am again. He wanted another drink and when he got back in his bunk bed, he started coughing and then what sounded like choking. Then he projectile vomited... BLOOD. I didn't know it was blood until I turned on the light and I almost freaked out. It was so much blood. Seriously... so much blood. I yelled for Billy to call 911, but then, Jonathan stopped bleeding and was just freaking out. So we changed him, cleaned him up a little and Billy just held him. I had enough wits about me to call our pediatrician on call and the ENT emergency call number. We waited a few minutes and heard from one of our pediatricians - Dr. Trace, who was an angel. She helped me be calm and rational, when I was really about to fall to pieces. We needed to get to the ER fast. We had Jacob to consider though, so we called our dear friends, Andy and Lisa who live up the street and they were here in 5 minutes. I hated to wake them up, but we needed someone. THEY WERE AWESOME... while we were gone, they cleaned up all the blood. They even took all the bedding to their house and washed it. Not even their child's blood... amazing. amazing amazing friends. I was overwhelmed by their love.

So fast forward a few minutes... we were in the car on the way to Baptist East ER because that's where our ENT wanted to check on him. We got there and everyone was great. Dr. Gould (ENT) called and said he needed to do another operation. GULP! Poor little baby. He had to cauterize (?) the area to stop the bleeding. Bless his little heart. So he went to the OR and got the special juice and they wheeled him away. Again. Three surgeries for my sweet baby. The procedure only lasted 15 minutes and we were with him within an hour. He was a crazy wild man after the surgery. I hate anesthesia. Hate it! We got home and he calmed down and ate a little bit and then rested. He's really had a pretty good day overall. So sweet and so brave.

My prayer for this little guy is that there is no more bleeding. That he sails through this recovery like a champ. And that he never has to see the inside of a hospital again. Seriously. As I reflect, this is undoubtedly one of the, if not THE scariest moment of my life. I honestly thought my baby was going to die this morning when it all started. I thought my baby was dying. As I type it, tears are filling my eyes. I am so grateful that everything is okay and we are hopefully out of the woods. I love my kids so much and can't imagine anything ever happening to one of them.
When I was running today (when Jonathan was resting!) I kept thinking about Mary. How awful it would have been for her to see her sweet baby Jesus tortured and in pain and ultimately crucified. Wow. Just wow.

prayer from Jacob - totally uncoached!

Dear God,
Thank you so much for Christmas. Thank you for sending your son to be born on this earth so we can celebrate Christmas. That is the best gift ever God. We really like that gift. Thanks. We love you, Amen

What a difference a year makes...

So, one of my best friends has been encouraging me to write this post for a long time (thanks Rachie!!!) and I've hesitated. Don't really know why, but it's been difficult for me to figure out a way to get it into words... so here goes. I know these aren't the best pics to get my point across, but they are exactly one year apart.

This was our Christmas card pic last year - taken by the oh so talented Angela Wisley. :)


This is our pic taken this year by my parents' neighbor - we did our whole family pic this year - they turned out great. I'll have to share those soon.

So, what's the difference you ask??? (besides the fact that my kiddos were WAY MORE COOPERATIVE THIS YEAR...) DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!!! I've lost nearly 40 lbs since last year's picture. HOORAY!!! I know he angle of the pictures make it a little hard to tell, but holy cow, I know (and only I know) what size those jeans were last year. Let me just say that they are out of my closet now. And I hope forever!!!!!

I don't really know what happened to me weight-wise. I had two kids in less than two years, true, but I actually lost most of the baby weight pretty quickly and then I stopped nursing. My appetite didn't exactly get the memo that "the girls" were no longer helping me burn 500-600 extra calories a day, I suppose. I was eating crappy food all the time and exercise??? What's that when you have two babies to chase. So, last year when I went to the gyno for my checkup (July 2009), I got a big ole lecture... I weighed more than when I delivered sweet Jonathan. Can you say wake up call??? But I didn't get my butt in gear until that November.

So, when Rachie invited me to go to Boot Camp with her, I went. And oh.my.word.it.was.hard! But, here's a secret. I loved it. It is challenging as heck, but I started to go regularly. It meets 3 times each week. It is such a sacrifice - of time, energy and money. But, Billy and I prayed about it and thought it to be worth the investment. I paid in advance for one 7 week session and just said, "we'll see what happens." Now, I didn't start to lose weight immediately. But I started to feel so much better and so much stronger. My boot camp teacher gave me some personal challenges early on that really helped. Finally, after 3-4 months, I started noticing some changes. but, here's my confession... I wasn't really changing any of my eating habits. It wasn't until this summer that I started to change the way I was eating. Here's a couple of things I've changed:
* I used to eat whatever I fixed for the boys for breakfast - usually carbs like Cinnamon Rolls, Crescent Rolls, Pancakes etc.
*NOW, I hardly ever eat those things... my breakfast is usually a nutri-grain bar or a scrambled egg with some cheese and maybe some ham or turkey for added protein
* when I worked full time in Frankfort, I ate out nearly every day for lunch. But I wasn't making healthy choices. I was eating McDonalds or Steak N Shake or Dairy Queen... or something like that.
* Now, I hardly ever eat fast food. I still eat it occasionally, but definitely not once a week! And I've STOPPED EATING LEFT OVER CHICKEN NUGGETS from my boys' happy meals. Geesh.
* I have given myself personal challenges. I will never be the healthiest eater because I am so picky. But, I have quite a sweet tooth that I've had to tame. I have put myself on a no sweets diet several months out of this year. I am currently on a no sweets diet for December (but will definitely cheat on Christmas!) because I want to lose 3 more pounds before the end of the year.
* oh - and probably the most significant... I've really upped my cardio. I've been running a lot. Nearly every day until this pesky snow and ice stuff started... I am working toward running a 10 mile race on January 1. You can pray that I can make it... lately, the longest distance I've conquered is 4 1/2 miles.


My results??? almost 40 lbs lighter and I can fit in most of all my pre-Jacob clothes! YEAH!!! So glad that Ann Taylor clothes never go out of style. :-) I wore some pants last week that I definitely hadn't been able to get in since 2005 - right before I got preggo with Jacob. Exercise is important to me and is one of my priorities. I'm so so so so so grateful that Billy is supportive and agrees to be superdad while I exercise 5-6 days a week. I only do Boot Camp two times a week now due to my work schedule and the finances. But I've found some personal motivation to keep it up on my own. The Boot Camp is awesome though... I would highly recommend it. It's an interval training class - with cardio and strength training combined. Let me know if you would like to join me. :-)

I also appreciate your encouragement... keep it coming! This is a lifelong journey. I never ever hope to see those big girl jeans I wore in last year's Christmas pic! :-)

bless his heart

A sweet shot of baby boy just afer he came out of the recovery room. He was out of it... but did keep perking up every time he heard Andy-Tale's voice. :-)


Before the procedure... sweet boy had just been given the sedative before they took him away from us. Can you say LOOPY???



Before the procedure (and the magic juice that helped him not be afraid)... goofy boy!


My little bubby had surgery on Monday. Nothing severe. Nothing major. (he had his tonsils and adenoids removed) BUT, he's still my little baby. And I was a mess. Short and simple. So was his sweet daddy, who didn't sleep a wink the night before and was with his bubby every step of the way. Jonathan was a real trooper. So very brave and amazingly calm. Love that sweet boy. It's been a long week with very little sleep. Today was a pretty good day for Jonathan - he rested lots, read books and drank two whole cups of milk and a yogurt drink. We are praying that he increases his fluid intake each day and regains his strength. He's very weak, but still sweet and happy - well, maybe not happy all the time. Actually, he's pretty darn cranky a lot of the times. He hates his medicine, so we have to force it and he's battled a fever all day today, but thankfully, he is peacefully sleeping as we speak and is currently fever free. And he ate a yogurt and a piece of cheese tonight.


While we were at the hospital and since then, I have been overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude to the Lord. So many people have showered love on us it's unbelievable. God has provided in small ways and HUGE ways this week. We are blessed beyond imagination. Not only did God lavish his love on us in practical ways, but also really worked on my heart! We saw several families in the hospital whose kiddos have cancer. We were waiting at registration by a mom with a six year old with stage 3 brain cancer. Man oh man, I was humbled and heartbroken for her. I know God has a plan for all these sweet families and I don't know any of their names, but I know God does.


I choose to try to keep my focus on the great things in life and thank God every single moment - the good times and bad. Thanks all for your prayers and well-wishes for Big Bad Jon... keep em coming. Recovery will be a long process!

How to keep the main thing, the MAIN thing

So, we, I'm sure along with many families with little people sturggle with Christmas season and often ask ourselves...how do we keep the main thing, the main thing this year? Christmas is definitely one of my most favorite holidays and I have so many awesome memories from my childhood. Now that we are building traditions of our own, I want my kiddos to have wonderful memories as well. I want them to have fun, I want them to enjoy Santa and presents and making a snack for Santa and his reindeer. I want them to be excited about family traditions and all the hustle and bustle of the season. BUT, more than that, I want them to understand the deep deep meaning behind Christmas day. That God loved us so much that He sent a Savior to be born - who would live a perfect life and then die for me and you. A Savior that gives us hope for tomorrow and a purpose for living - to share the good news with others. So, how do we teach our little 4 and 2 year olds these truths? What about you??? Any ideas? Here's a few traditions we are trying to set...
1. We make cupcakes for Jesus's birthday on Christmas Eve. That's what we leave for Santa and his elves
2. We read the Christmas story from Luke 2 before the day gets started - before we even walk downstairs and see the stockings and presents under the tree
3. We decorate like crazy - our house is beautiful and I tell the boys that this is the biggest birthday party ever, so our house should look beautiful for the King!
4. This year, we are trying this one... since Jesus received three presents from the Wise men, we are giving our children 3 presents each. (I'm not sure how this will play out with "santa" presents just yet...)
5. We have mangers/nativity sets all around our house -- see???




This one is our new additon this year and I.love.it! My dad made the manger and the star and some friends of my parents made the figures. The boys got to go with me to find a baby Jesus and took great care in putting him in the manger. I really love this!!!


This one is very special to me. I got this unique hand-carved nativity set when I went on a mission trip to Zimbawe, Africa. The details on this set are exquisite! You may notice that Baby Jesus is missing... each year, I save him and bring him out on Christmas morning and make a really big deal about putting him in his special spot. This year, I'm thinking of wrapping him up and putting him under the tree and making him the last present that's opened.



This one is in the boys' room. It's the Little People nativity set. SO cute and so perfect for little hands!




I quadruple heart this one. It's hard to see because of my weird camera angle, but this one is so sweet. The little figures are cloth and can fit right into the little barn and it velcros up nice and neat. My friend Whitney got this for Jacob when he was born and I love it so much. The boys have both carried this little set around, chewed on pieces and kissed baby Jesus with slobbery kisses and sticky lips. For some reason, this one is the easiest for me to tell the story. And I have probably told them the story about 20 times already this season.





And finally, this one reminds me of my childhood. This nativity set always had a special place in my living room growing up. I love it's rustic look. When I got my first place on my own (and was totally broke by the way) my mom let me pick some of my favorite Christmas decorations to take with me to start my collection. How cool is that?


I know that despite my attempts, Jacob and Jonathan will super excited about the presents and may say "what's my next present?" a few times that day, but I sure hope at least part of the day is totally 100% focused on Jesus, our Lord.

What about you guys? Any ideas?