Dear mom and dad,
I know you are having fun shopping for Christmas presents for me and my big brothers but if I may, here's a few suggestions:
Forget about getting me any plastic keys. I'm way smarter than you think...I know they aren't real. I want real ones. In particular, I want the exact ones that you need to drive the car. The extra set won't do.
Forget about stacking cups or building blocks. I'm perfectly happy dissecting the contents of mommy's makeup bag - I especially like the ones I can get open. And the powdery stuff that makes a big mess?
Since you are always asking for help with chores, I'll take a broom. And I guess a mop. But again, no need to get me a toy one. I like the big super size ones. The dirtier the better too.
I'll also take any trash can filled with trash. The one in the bathroom is my favorite though. Just wrap up that for me, but make sure it has dirty toilet paper and Kleenex in there. Those are my favorite.
And while you're at it, that cool contraption on the bathroom wall with the fun rollie paper? I want that really bad. I really like it when I can roll the paper all the way into the kitchen or even to the living room.
Oh and don't even think about getting me a toy cell phone or remote control. I'll take your iPhone - the one in the pink case...and all the TV controls. I don't really like the ones that sing cute songs or have Mickey on them. I like the ones that really make the TV go on and off. You know, the big great ones? I really like the red button - I think you call that the record button or something. I want a real one with lots of red buttons. I like recording stuff.
Oh and for the grand finale, please oh please get me my very own Wii U cords. I love those more than anything. And I really like the one with the white paper sticker on it. Please please please can I have that?
Thanks and I love you bunches,