Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world...once upone a time, I was a part of a group that did a PSA and that was our tag line. Back then, I was pregnant with Jacob - now, that I have two little critters, I really know how true this is. We're still struggling with our big boy at nite nite time. This past weekend was HORRIBLE! Thanks to Katie for keeping me company last night and being my moral support. :-)As bad as it is, I feel like God is teaching me something BIG. Don't know what it is, but I know it's something. I feel so selfish - Jacob has refused to go to bed the last three nights and has wound up in our bed. We just call it quits and turn off all the lights. Not that him being in our bed helps - he sleeps, but we don't. He's got to be the most restless little person on the planet. The no sleeping thing is really wearing me thin and I complain that I can't get anything done - I can't wrap presents, I can't make blankets (yes, I'm making some of our Christmas presents), I can't just veg out and watch TV, I can't spend any alone time with my husband, I can't snuggle... boy, there's a lot of I's in those statements. God reminded me yesterday that life really isn't about me or my agenda - it's about putting Him first and serving others - even my children. I found my self in the church nursery watching all the little kiddos - it wasn't even my week to volunteer, so at first I was grumpy, but then God showed me how selfish I was being and reminded me to smile to show the love of Jesus to those precious children.
I had the best reminder of how great it is to be a mommy this morning - I was holding Jonathan and Jacob crawled up in my lap and brought me a book and said "mommy read me." Well, for you sappy moms like me, you'll understand...the book was "Love you Forever." If you can honestly read that one without a tear in your eye, you're my hero. I read it, choked on most of the pages and had a big tear in my eye. Jacob looked at me and said "why mommy sad?" I held him close and whispered "mommy's not sad, mommy's so grateful that I just get emotional." I'm sure he didn't understand that, but he gave me a big smooch and hurried about his business. I was sitting there thanking God for speaking to me through the smallest creatures and the pages of a wonderful book about never-ending love.
I love my kids. I love my husband. I love my life. I love my God. Nothing else in this world matters!!!