So, two days ago, I had an experience with the Lord. I'll try to explain, but words probably won't do it justice, so here goes. Wish I had a picture (well, maybe not!).
On Tuesday morning, I was out for a run. I was feeling pretty good - almost 2 miles in when whammo, I hit the pavement. Y'all. I'm talking about flat on my face spitting rocks out of my mouth, blood on my scraped hands and knees (and shoulder???), flat out on the sidewalk hitting the pavement. Of course, I quickly jumped up hoping and praying no one saw me. Which is impossible since I was downtown at 8th and Main. You know what??? No one even rolled down their windows to say, "hey crazy lady... are you okay?" Nope, not one. But anyway, I digress. So, I looked at my little hands and winced when I saw on my watch that it was 11:42. I had exactly 18 minutes to get home, drive to church and pick up the boys from preschool. Which, normally, would be totally possible, since I was only a little more than a mile from home. So, I started running again. I was hurting and embarrassed and then it hit me. HOLY CRAP... what if I just hurt my baby? My little baby in my tummy? I started sobbing hysterically and was trying to run, but then feeling the need to stop and pray for my baby. So, I did... for a brief moment. Then, looking at my clock - 11:47. Oh no. 13 minutes. So I kicked it into high gear - sprinted home, with some breaks to catch my breath and try to not throw up since I was crying so hard..got home at 11:59 and jumped in the van.
On the way to church, I called my OB and left a message and tried to call my hubby who was in a meeting at the Capital -yeah, with legislators and stuff. So I didn't want to bother him, but I needed some reassurance, so I did what every wife would do. I called 3 times and texted him. Of course he called me right back and was calm as a cucumber. Then I started to breathe normally as I pulled into the church parking lot. I pulled it together and went and picked up my sweeties (only 3 minutes late, mind you!)
After a while, I was calm. I was fairly certain nothing was wrong with my baby. My belly wasn't hurting at all - I had no bleeding or cramping and I was reminded of the miracle of pregnancy and how protected that little bean is in my womb. I did get a call back from my OB, who was also very reassuring and told me not to worry unless I started cramping or bleeding, which she seriously doubted would happen.
Then, the most amazing thing of my day happened. I had a moment with my precious sweet unborn baby. I immediately felt protective and like a real mommy to this sweet child. I hate to even admit this, but prior to this, I've felt so crummy and zombie like the last 11 weeks, that I haven't really taken time to marvel at the miracle of new life and praise God with my whole being for this opportunity to yet again, be "mommy" to a little person. Of course, we are excited and have been since that positive pregnancy test, but honestly, I've been more overwhelmed than anything else. I've prayed for this baby, but honestly, it felt like I was praying for someone else's child. Until two days ago... now, I'm starting to imagine what he or she will look like and sound like and how he or she will fit into our little family. I'm grateful for this experience. As weird as that sounds. I'm grateful I didn't get hurt worse. I'm grateful no one who knew me saw me. :-) I'm grateful that God works in mysterious ways. Seriously, I am. And I'm grateful that I'm 100% in love with the babe in my belly!