Thursday, August 12, 2010

momma feels sad!

Okay, so this is a confession of gargantuous proportions (I have no idea if gargantuous is even a word and if it is, heck if I know if I spelled it right). My big boy hurt my feelings tonight in a big way. Now, you must know that I was awake last night fighting the good fight with Jonathan - he is out of his crib and we are in full sleep training in the big bed mode- from 1 am til 4:30 am. So, admittedly, I'm a little tired and thus, probably more easily upset. Tonight, Jacob has been 99.9% perfect. and .1% mean and hurtful. We played outside in the sprinkler and he didn't want to come in, but finally he complied. While I was bringing him inside, he said "I am angry with you and I'm not living here anymore." I just said, "okay honey. You can be mad at me, but you still have to follow the rules." Then, he was downstairs mumbling things about me and I could hear them, but I chose not to say anything. He's entitled to vent, right? Even if it is to his little Mickey figurine. So after about 5 minutes, he turned back into "sweet 99.9% perfect Jacob" for most of the evening. Until bedtime. He was not a happy camper and screamed bloody murder for a few minutes. Again, I said, you can be mad, but you still have to obey. He went into his room and I gave him a kiss and said, "I love you very much, even when you scream." He said (THE WORDS EVERY MOTHER DREADS TO HEAR) "I don't love you and I want a new mommy." To that, I said calmly, " okay, but it's still bedtime. I love you. You hurt my heart and I'm not telling you stories right now. I want you to think about your words and how hurtful they are. If you continue to use hurtful words with mommy, I will take your TV out of your room tonight" (GULP). And I didn't tell him stories. I kissed him and walked out. Billy's in there right now telling him nite nite stories. Jacob came out and apologized and gave me a hug, which I know was sincere and very very sweet, but why is it that my heart really is sad about his words? I mean, come on... he's 3 and I'm 32. I know better. And he's very very sleepy, obviously.
On another note.... I'm happy to report that as of this moment, Jonathan is happily snoring away in his big boy bed. Here's praying tonight is much much much much better than last night. I know you can do it big boy!!!! Mommy and Daddy believe in you!


Tiffany Magness Keene said...

Of course those words will hurt...they're hurtful words from someone you love more than life. But, no matter how smart Jacob is, a 3 year old cannot grasp the emotional meaning of them. He was angry and speaking out of his anger like we all are guilty of doing from time to time. Jacob loves you more than words, and you are the best mommy ever! That's why God chose you to love and parent such a sweet boy! I love you!

jeanneburnett said...

oh poor you!!! I can't imagine your lovey saying that! Tiff's right, and I am sad to say that it's only a matter of time all of our kiddos are going to do stuff to hurt us. Who knew it would be already! Hang in there! We can cry on each other's shoulders!